When I heard the news about the Society of Saint Pius X (SSPX) planning to consecrate new bishops this week, I let out an audible groan. “Seriously,” I said, “consecrations of new bishops? That is so 1988!”

And this is the reason why so many people are scandalized by these new consecrations. We’ve been dragged through the muck of Disney’s Star Wars sequels. We sat through a pretty forgettable Beetlejuice sequel in 2024. Zootopia 2 has been out for a few months now, and I never even saw the first one! Now, you’re going to tell me that the SSPX is creating a sequel? Talk about an instant bomb!

We are the Church. We can do better than this!

But beyond the surface level of a new set of consecrations being completely unoriginal and a bit of a ripoff of the 1988 consecrations, we can honestly say that it has been a long time coming.

Just think about the name “SSPX.” That “X” is not just Elon’s stupid name for what everyone is supposed to call Twitter. It’s the roman numeral for the number “10.” That’s right, the SSPX itself seems like sequels are baked into its DNA—9 sequels to be exact!

All of this really raises a question as to how long Hollywood has really been planning to unleash endless sequels upon us. How long has the Church been involved? Vatican II is a sequel. The SSPX is a sequel. The Novus Ordo is a sequel. What isn’t a sequel anymore!?

If I were writing to Rev. Davide Pagliarani I would simply say, “be more original.” Maybe the SSPX can elect its own pope or assign a few cardinals. That hasn’t been done by them before now.

A little more originality might finally free us from this slump in which we now live.

Tiffany Williams, Opinion Writer for The Roman Caller