NEW YORK — A thief was arrested on Tuesday by Cardinal Timothy Dolan, archbishop emeritus of New York. Up to this point, George Collins was a felon who had been spotted robbing five different 7-11 gas stations across the city over the past month.

“It was really something seeing the cardinal make the arrest. The man is huge,” said police deputy James Halwell. “He really locked that guy in a crazy head lock and it took five of us to pry him off [of Collins].”

This comes three weeks after Dolan resigned his episcopal office to Archbishop Ronald Hicks. Dolan quickly announced that he would join the NYPD chaplaincy during his retirement. Halwell was still amazed when we caught up to him, “I just can’t believe that after all these years he’s still got it.”

Halwell finally added, “I didn’t realize he ever at it in the first place.”