JERUSALEM — Talk about a faux pas of biblical proportions! Mary Salome, the mother of James and John and wife of Zebedee, caught controversy on Wednesday when she asked Jesus of Nazareth whether her sons could reign with Him in paradise. This came immediately following a prediction by Jesus that he would suffer and die via crucifixion.

“Who do these guys think they are?” asked Simon the Zealot, “they put that woman up to it, didn’t they?”

“It was clearly premeditated political posturing,” said Matthew very coolly, “and it doesn’t sound as though it actually worked.”

The brothers took time to speak to The Roman Caller, explaining, “Uh, our mom has been experiencing… hearing loss. Yeah. Hearing loss. Clearly she didn’t hear what Jesus was saying, right?”

At press time, Salome was undergoing extensive medical evaluations.