[Editor’s note: The following was written by a staff writer for The Roman Caller. He suffered a serious aneurysm while finishing the piece. After much discussion amongst the staff at this publication, we have decided to release the unfinished article for the edification of our readers.]

AAaaaaaahhhhhh! It’s so critical!!! AAAHhhhhhhh what’s going to happen next???? I’m gonna pass out from all thsi stresss!! The SSPX is doing the thing with the new bishops!1 the Germans are about to schism!!! All that stuff is happening in Detroit and Charlotte>! WHat is Leo GOING TO DOOO! JUST DO SOMETHING ALREZADY!

THEN OH THEN WE GOT THE FEWRNANDEZ GUY WITH TEH KISSY KISSY, LIKE WHAT!?!!?!? WHO? GET HIM OUT OF OFFICE!!! IMPEACH HIME!!!

I CNA”T TAKE IT ANYMOREE AAAAQAHHAHAHHHHHH!!