OSTIA — As photos of Pope Leo flanked by altar girls reignited a debate earlier this week about whether priests should permit females to serve in the sanctuary, one of the altar girls in the photos is speaking out.

“It was a strange experience,” said the female acolyte, whose mother wished her to remain anonymous. “The Swiss Guard were waiting for us when we got to the sacristy and made us go through a metal detector. I had to go through three times. I kept telling the guy that I had a metal plate in my back from an emergency surgery right after I was born, but he only spoke German.”

The altar girl went on to say that meeting the pope was just as strange. “He kept calling me a tiara bearer, like what does that even mean?” The girl went on to explain that it didn’t make sense, as she wasn’t “even the one carrying the hat.” She also told The Roman Caller that “he kept asking for water. I don’t know if it’s a nervous tick or genuine thirst, but someone would always bring him a glass and he’d set it down without ever drinking it.”

When The Roman Caller asked about the Mass, she replied that “Leo celebrated a beautiful Mass, but someone’s phone kept going off and you knew that it was the same person too because it was the same piano cover of Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin’ on a Prayer.’ The pope didn’t bat an eye, but you could tell that people were really starting to get irritated in the pews.”

After Mass, Leo began to hand out stipends to all ministers who assisted in the ceremonies. “That was strange too. He didn’t give us €100. Instead, his MC shouted out ‘pay day!’ and gave all of us 100 ‘Vatican bucks.’ I don’t even think that’s a real currency.”

Finally, The Roman Caller asked the 15-year-old about the controversy generated by Leo allowing her to serve at the altar. “I don’t know. If I were to do it all over again, I probably would have just attended Mass from the pews. That’s not because I’m against girl altar servers. It’s because of how weird it was serving for the pope.”