VATICAN—Following the move of the Summorum Pontificum Pilgrimage Mass from St. Peter’s Basilica to St. Mary Major, one Vatican official is telling The Roman Caller that in his view, “traditionalists are having too much fun.”

“The problem is not the fine vestments or the gold chalices,” rather, “the issue lies squarely in the fact that they look like they’re having fun while using such things.”

The source went on to speak about an occasion where he was attending an ecology Mass at one end of St. Peter’s, while “many people were sullen, as they considered their sins against the environment” while at the other end of the basilica, a group of traditionalists were “smiling while chanting the Salve Regina.”

“It’s really a preposterous thing,” commented another Vatican official. “Everyone knows that being Catholic means putting on a polyester alb that was made in China, singing songs from the ’70’s, and generally having a miserable time while pretending that you’re having a great time. These ‘trads’ are actually having a good time.”

When The Roman Caller reached out to the traditionalists in question, the traditionalists replied, “yeah, lol.”

At press time, a group of traditionalists were still having fun, even though the squares moved their Mass to a different basilica.