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Burkas Mandated at Traditional Parish
KANSAS CITY, KANSAS—In an effort to increase modesty at Sunday Mass, Father Joshua Morgan of St. Timothy’s parish in Kansas City is mandating that all women come to church in burkas. The pastor is mandating that all women follow the guidance or be turned away at the door. “We welcome any and all to the…
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Burkas Mandated at Traditional Parish
KANSAS CITY, KANSAS—In an effort to increase modesty at Sunday Mass, Father Joshua Morgan of St. Timothy’s parish in Kansas City is mandating that…
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Rupnik Found Guilty Of Art Being Weird, Report Claims
VATICAN—A report circulated by InfoVaticana on Tuesday claims that priest and artist, Father Carlo Rupnik, will be completely cleared of any sexual crimes but…
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REPORT: Aliens Filed Complaint Against Disgraced Exorcist
WASHINGTON — A leaked memo from the Archdiocese of Washington DC revealed Wednesday that Monsignor Stephen Rossetti was “fired” from his post as exorcist…
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Bishop Feeling Really Dumb For Swatting Fly During Anglican Blessing
VATICAN—Bishop Enrico Ricardo of Cacahuete, Spain is kicking himself for swatting at a fly the exact moment that Dame Sarah Mullally began giving a…
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Pope Leo Taps Archbishop Sarah Mullally for Divine Worship Secretary
VATICAN—The Holy See announced in its daily bulletin today that Archbishop Sarah Mullally, current Anglican archbishop of Canterbury, will be taking Cardinal Arthur Roche’s…
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Pope Leo Posts AI Image of Himself as President of the United States
VATICAN—In response to President Donald Trump’s Truth Social post falsely depicting himself as Jesus Christ, Leo XIV posted a similar AI-Generated image of himself…
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Altar Server Accidentally Flips Back to Ash Wednesday—Plunges Parish Back into 40 Days of Penance
LOCAL — Book-bearer Brandon Smith is catching heat at a St. James Catholic Church after he accidentally flipped to the Mass for Ash Wednesday…
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Christmas-Easter Catholic Learns of Pope Francis’ Death
LOCAL — Peggy Branson, age 52, has been in shambles since yesterday morning after learning the news that Pope Francis died April 21 of…
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Leo Claims Traditionis Custodes was “Just a Prank”
VATICAN—Pope Leo told the press Saturday that Traditionis Custodes was a big joke. According to Leo, the 2021 document restricting the use of the…
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Extraterrestrial Appears in Leo XIV Pachamama Photo
THE ROMAN CALLER — While internet discussions grew evermore lively over the weekend following the release of an alleged photo from the 90’s of…